Parenting · Pontifications · Rants

Mother’s Day Can Get the Fuck Off My Holiday List

Yeah. I’ve chosen a side in the war on whether or not Mother’s day is anything important. And it’s not. It blows. It’s stupid. It makes me irritated, in fact.

Rantage as Follows:

First and foremost — yes, you should treat the people you share your life with intimately with recognition and decency. But that should happen all year long or get out of the relationship. That’s it. Life is stressful and stupid at times — adding in hallmark holidays like Mother’s/Father’s Day, pointless personal entitlement days, and expectations of fawning over X person on a single day this year as an excuse for less-than-charitable-behaviors presented the other 364 days is just adding shit-sprinkles to a derogatory state of being. We’re being permissive with shitty behavior because we’re supposed to make up for it all on one fucking day? And that ‘recognition’ day, for many, is a disaster/fail — or just a money pit, possibly on top of being a failure.
Let’s ignore the whole debacle and go about our business in a decent manner in general. Wanna buy your woman flowers? Do it any time of year. Wanna get your man that thing he has dreamed of? Get it when it’s best, not when it’s imposed.

Do shit with people. Do stuff for them. Seriously, folks, it’s not that hard — be appreciative and respectful of those you say you love — that is truest form of love, after all. Apologize when you do wrong. Learn from your mistakes. Help out. Be present. Constantly try to better yourself. Dream but don’t forget to actually work. You know, posterboard shit but better than the ephemeral bull it’s the real stuff you can actively do that impacts you and those you love. Why do we need a day to instruct us to do this shit? Oh, that’s right, we don’t…

Don’t fall for the Mother’s Day entrapments and teases. I watch my husband recoil that he’s not doing enough or needs to do more for all the mothers – his mother, my mother, and me. He does plenty. Both our parents have loving spouses and money to cater to themselves and we spread the wealth of enjoyment through our own labor — our offspring, their grandbabies. It’s all good… I want my poor husband to calm the fuck down and enjoy just this — what we have, what we’re building, what we love together.

I don’t want overpriced jewelry or breakfast in bed (DO NOT BRING FOOD UPSTAIRS OR I WILL CUT OUT YOUR SOUL!) or the kids to feel the need to kowtow to me. I am not some golden uterus in need of a culturally instructed stroke from a flower or jewelry or chocolate company on X day every year. I am all for buying shit for me but when we want to, not when we are told to by outside forces.

I don’t actually recognize this as a holiday — I recognize it as a fucking guilt trip other people liberally applied because they were greedy. And now it’s all out of hand in the commercial sphere – which is fine for those it enthralls but not me.

I have (usually) happy kids who are learning and growing. They make giggle noises when we careen across the kitchen at Mach 3 playing tag and are picking up on how to live — which is great — but they are also mine and they are adorable spawn that I love with incredible force. This is the gravy, folks, even through the personal sacrifices we make for the selfish want for kids. I have a husband who comes home to me and treats me like a decent human being even when I am the bizarro and comical living personification of Oscar The Grouch. I won’t even talk about what favors I do well for him because that’s none of anyone else’s business, thank you much.
No, I don’t want anything for ‘Mother’s Day’. And I say that fully acknowledging that I also still want shit and get shit. But it’s stuff we can afford, stuff I actually want and decide on. I’m not dead but I’m also not dumb or entitled. Those things are just the things I get for being human and being part of this particular crew. Same goes for everyone living here — we have needs and wants we try to achieve. Together. Respectfully. Nobody here will be forced to participate in a culturally commercialized guilt trip to help us spend our money. Fuck these Hallmark Holidays… we just need to just keep on rollin’ with the punches.

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